How it can resemble a horror film and how to avoid that from happening.
Dating can be a mystifying activity, for people of all ages, with all levels of experience. Teenagers on their first dates are so new to the experience and are often so uncomfortable with themselves, they find it hard to be natural. Young adults may be so wrapped up in their own careers that they find it difficult to clearly see the needs and wants of their dating partner. Older adults who have ended long-term relationships or have lost a spouse to divorce may have trouble getting over their loss — and may obsessively compare their dating partner with their ex. And seniors face a whole raft of issues, especially if they’ve been out of the dating scene for decades. Seniors will find many differences not only in gender roles but in expectations for where the dating may lead.
In short — even if we feel supremely confident in our ability to make a date feel comfortable, to find areas of common interest, to pull off a successful evening and make our date hope for follow-ups, we can never predict how the date will turn out, or how we’ll respond to unexpected turns.
At its core, dating is very basic: two people getting together for the simple purpose of enjoying each other’s company. However, a date is layered with the anticipation of romantic interest, whether casual or potentially serious. And all of the nuance and anxiety that accompanies this anticipation can throw off even the most seasoned of daters. A grown man can break down in despair when rehashing a date in his own mind or with a confidant, trying to interpret the behavior of his dating partner. How quickly should he call back? Or would a “cute” text message be more appropriate? Would sending flowers be too overboard at this stage? What color should the roses be? Or should he just wait for her to contact him?
These kinds of questions have been with us for millennia and have spawned some of the world’s greatest literature, poetry, drama, and visual arts, across all ages and societies. Of course, there are differences in the mechanics of dating from culture to culture; some traditional and orthodox societies discourage unescorted dating, or dating at all if marriages are still generally prearranged. Other societies are caught between the traditional values of older generations and the rapidly broadening horizons of their children. For a French girl to take her date home to meet her parents means nothing at all; for a Thai girl to do so means everything. But, at heart, we all feel the same anxieties, the same uncertainties, and the same joys, regardless of what culture or era we come from.
With this website, we hope to offer practical advice to daters of all ages, with all levels of experience, both men and women, traditional dating as well as same-sex dating. Some items will have broad application to all daters; others will address specific issues of concern to certain groups of daters. Every person, every couple, every situation is unique, and specific advice that applies in one case may not apply in another. But we hope that our website will provide food for thought and discussion, and help people approach dating from fresh, new angles.
